I have really gotten off track. I find that I have no rhythm anymore to my day. Going from working construction full time for the past 5 months where I would get a little screen time in the morning. maybe I would catch a bit of the close as I worked, and studying at night. Now that I am home all day. I find that having not done any of the required daily paperwork to keep up to date on the tickers I am tracking and the trade plan I have specifically written for the stock. I spent 9 months developing a very solid, efficient guided trading system and I have pissed it away. Will I have to blow up my account to finally get the wake up call? I was on the verge of turning a corner, at least flattening the curve and then my trading and discipline decided that it is not my time for my profit curve to consistently turn north or even hold consistent.

I am greedy and I want to make back all of my losses in one trade. If I keep playing lotto tickets. $EWLL style, averaging down for the bounce. Then I will keep losing. 

TIme to step forward. Admit that I have an incredibly difficult time keeping focus on building a very specific trading plan. I need a disciplined and organized system of evaluating, deciding the proper strategy, analyzing my percentage of profitability on that particular strategy and making a specific plan to trade. In advice from others I have found that my planning process is to involved. I find that If I slack off completely that I have no plan and shit can hit the fan. so is it the hyper focused depth of knowledge style that I can truly adapt to. Is there an in between? Am I on my journey to finding the patterns, strategies, discipline, conviction, patience, dedication, compassion, and trust that only a journey of errors, truths and victories can decide. 

 

SO the story goes. $EWLL is busting off of .002 I am watching this break out with conviction that is in the hot sector, will offer a couple of solid moves, and that I am in the right mindset to trade. Oh no. not at all. My plans have changed, I am now back at home sitting on the couch watching the market everyday. I have completely slacked off on my full fledged study work program that I had designed and implemented before going back to work. so here I am at the computer, punishing myself for foolish trade after foolish trade. trying to just slow down my trading. breath, study, plan and I put this trade on as I have to walk out the fucking door. I keep doing Stupid shit like this. I am not on my time. I am not able to dedicate myself to trading in a volatile market. I want the hours of a swing trader and the instant gratification of a day trader. I catch $EWLL bouncing off support and ramping into an afternoon breakout. 1st fuck up. into an afternoon breakout. thinking it would test the days highs, but not being able to be in. front of the computer to atch price action. By the time i get back Home I am donw considerably. At this point I have small size, and feel comfortable with holding overnight. I don't know why. I can easily cut my losses. get out. but I don't have a plan in place that gives me the specifics. Major fuckup #1. they are all gong to be fuckups #1 because Once I start fucking up, I just keep right on fucking up. So it is looking to bounce and push up into an afternoon spike. it is breaking resistance at .004 this is a piece of shit stock. breaking resistance on a piece of shit stock means nothing. I have no plan and I am buying shit that is obviously dilluting and about to loose all of its buyers. they pull the rug and start dilluting and it is a washout. 2 days later, it is a friday and it starts a friday late morning squeeze. I have to leave the fucking house again. I am getting the quotes read to me as I am driving, but I am unable to focus. I don't have an updated plan at this time that should be screaming into my head get the fuck out of this shit. for a small loss, break even, a small gain. whatever just get out of this dumpster fire. I don't have that. and so I watch it fade back. 2nd time. this morning. it spikes on the open. gets close to my avg and sells off. I sit and stare in disbelief, utter capitulation, anger depression disbelief. All the signs of a "Typical Investors Mentality" Pg 77 Short Stocking dvd handbook by Timothy Sykes. 

 

Back at my desk tonight. I have to find my way back on track. This loss means nothing in the long run. It is absolutely miniscule in comparision for the losses that I am preparing myself to be able to handle because I will learn to trade from a percentage of trades state of mind. 

No trading till I cut these bags loose. accept the loss or the gain. I will study and write and get myself back into a routine. Goals are to rebuild my daily watchlist and email to mark croock. Attend all live webinars. check in daily on profit.ly morning and night. rewatch trading tickers. update my pnL spreadsheets. reformulate my plan and how I will be able to keep it forefront in my trading. I'm out