Don't cut your losses quickly.

When a trade isn't going your way and you are already down, I need you to ask yourself a serious question...Do you really wanna take a loss here, bro? Have some balls and hold it out until the end, and maybe, just maybe after some time the stock will turn around and your patience will be rewarded.

Believe the hype.

What better evidence is there that a company is about to breakout than when they put out an exciting press release about their new, revolutionary product? When you see something like this; Remember that you are a hungry hungry hippo and that you need to be quick enough to grab the marbles before anyone else does. In other words: Buy the stock before anyone else sees it in order to get in early before the share price EXPLODES!!! ...you can always count on this ;)

Ignore Price Action / Technical Analysis.

What the so-called "gurus" don't understand is that even though a stock may be illiquid, if there's a great story behind it or a trusted newsletter sending out emails promising investors exponential returns, you have to throw the technical analysis book out the window and BUY. In fact, buy multiple stocks, at the sub-penny level if you can, because you never know which one(s) will POP!!

Watch CNBC.

The financially educated people on programs like "Mad Money" and other financial tv shows are here to take the guess work out of where the market is going and to help turn you into a savvy investor. It may be TV, but they certainly aren't here to entertain you! I recommend leaving the TV on during the trading day to listen in on what they have to say, and by all means, take their investment advice - it's priceless!

Spend Your Profits.

What good is making money if you can't spend it? Don't worry about growing your account for now. When you're on a role and find your account has grown exponentially, forget increasing your position sizes to grow even quicker. I want you to withdraw all that extra cash and buy yourself a new car - you deserve it :-)

Fake it till you make it.

Focus. On. Your. Wins. Nothing else matters! Especially not your losses. Because let's face it: there's nothing that can bring you down more than trying to "learn" from your mistakes and losses. I honestly recommend just hiding your losses and not even acknowledging them.

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And there you have it! Trust me, if you follow these 6 tips I've shared with you to the very end, you will enjoy a life of underachievement and failure.

Catch ya at the soup kitchen!

Ryan Dodson a.k.a. Sooth_Sayer