I'm writing this more of a reflection of the past 19 months. From where I started and I am now, not financially of course, but my traders mentality. A year and half ago I was excited exuberant, overly exuberant. 

I started to trade while learning the process of trading and trade after trade I lost money. Intimidated by the fast moving stocks when I could find them of course. Sometimes I would win, occasionally. 

Now I sit here in front of the computer thinking of the sole reason I lost so much. 

Psychology!

Seeing price movements when they aren't there in reality. Dreaming of a better life. I had my head so far up my ass my head was in the clouds. Meaning, I was so focused on the end game I lost sight of what I was doing. My trades were erratic and so were my thoughts, no focus. coincidentally, if your thoughts have no focus your trading follows suit. I missed good trades because of this and out of fear. 

I think I have hit rock bottom, my focus is better and now I'm not losing as much, I'm actually kind of flat. 

I've lost that head in the clouds feeling and the feeling of utter fear.

Now I am ready to start really trading.