Normally I post a blog every two weeks alongside my accountability post, but what I had originally planned to write about will require more time and research.  I decided to wait until I could perfect that idea, and for now I would think up something else to write about.  I decided to give myself another day or two to think of something.  Fortunately(or rather UNfortunately), something to write about appeared on Monday February 1st.

     We had $SLV on watch for Monday in the options service I am a part of, as it was breaking out to new highs due to the Reddit crowd supposedly pumping it up.  I have traded $SLV a few times since I started trading options, and I was familiar with how it trades.  I was very excited to get in on this call options trade. 

      At market open, I waited the usual 15 minutes to watch the price action, which was going up. I started to get some FOMO, and was trying to sit on my hands waiting for a dip to get in.  I should have been looking at the chart to pick my ideal entry level at $26, but I made a mistake by not doing that.  My FOMO was telling me that this was going to keep going, and it would not pull back that far.  It started to pull back, so I put in my first order at the dip.  I had 10 contracts selected, because I forgot to adjust the default setting in my order.  Luckily the order was still "LIVE", so I canceled it.  The stock continued to climb, so I waited for another dip.  This time I put in an order for 5 contracts, which is higher than I normally buy.  I felt good about this trade though, and wanted to size up for it.  It went "LIVE", but it never filled and it passed by my limit price, so I canceled it.  I tried one more time with 5 contracts because it was consolidating now, but I still couldn't get a fill.  I canceled it.  There was another dip after the consolidation, so I tried to buy 2 contracts.  I started to come to my senses, thinking about how I shouldn't be breaking my rules, and 2 contracts should be enough.  It showed "LIVE", but it never filled, so I canceled it.  By now the stock was slipping pretty good, so I was thanking my lucky stars that those orders hadn't gone through. 

     As the stock dropped, I was looking for a bottom.  After about 15 minutes, I got a bunch of alerts from ETrade that started to show up on my screen.  To my horror, 3 of those 4 orders I had made 20 minutes ago came through as filled!!  I looked at my portfolio, and I was holding 17 contracts with a $600 loss!  I should have sold them all right then, but I was so flabbergasted that I froze and I just watched the stock dive.  I tried calling Etrade and I couldn't get through.  I also tried to go through the chat function, and it showed a 3 hour wait.  Now I was telling myself I need to get out of this.  Then Mark sent an alert that he was buying, so I breathed a sigh of relief, making the mistake of thinking that the stock will probably go up again.  I held. 

     While I was waiting for the stock to go my way, I did something I should have done BEFORE I even thought of entering this trade.  I looked on the Wall Street Bets Reddit feed for reassurance.  Surely they were still pumping it, right?  I saw a couple of disturbing posts like, "Don't buy $SLV you idiots, it isn't us!", and "Will the moderators please do something about the bots that keep pumping $SLV?".  I started to think about how easy it would be for a fund with a stake in $SLV to infiltrate the reddit feed with bots, pump up the stock and sell into the retail investors buying it.  I started to think that maybe these funds would even pay off the media to report it too.  There were so many news reports about the pump everywhere.  It was suspicious, and I felt like a dupe.  I still didn't get out though, so I guess I was a dupe!  I was at a loss of over $1200 now, but Mark was still in it.  I was sure he did his due diligence, and I am just a newbie, so I didn't trust my instincts.  Maybe I was wrong?  After the market closed, I was still down $1200.  I was banking on a gap up the next day. 

     I tried calling ETrade again, and I was able to get through after being on hold for 3 hours.  I put in a trade inquiry, and somehow I felt a little better after that.  I was able to sleep with positive thoughts of a gap up the next day, so I could break even.  I had no desire to make money on this trade anymore, once it hit my break even price, I would be out. After hours the consolidation held pretty well, so I wasn't too worried.

     The next morning, I made myself not look at the market.  I worked out, had breakfast, and got my daughter ready to start school.  I got an alert from Mark that there was a huge gap down in $SLV overnight.  Oh SHIT! I loaded up Etrade Pro to see where I was at.  Yep, there it was, a big gap fill going the wrong freaking way.  The market opened, and it started panicking more!  Now I couldn't get out either.  Etrade wouldn't let me fill my sell order.  I waited and prayed for some kind of crazy bounce, but they were all very small bounces.  I started to think that I might lose my entire investment on this trade if I didn't get out soon.  I finally got out on one of the bigger small bounces with a loss of $2706, not including commissions.  This is my biggest less to date, and has drawn down my trading account by over 10%.  I watched the market for the rest of the day, but I traded nothing.  My state of mind at the time was not ideal, and I knew it.

     I still haven't heard back from Etrade about my trade inquiry.  I decided to post my trade today with this accompanying blog post.  The more I think about it, there probably isn't going to be a resolution to this, and I just want to put it behind me and look forward.  I will trade smaller going forward until I can make up the loss.  Staying in this game is very important to me, so my risk management has to be in top form.  I jumped back into the game on the Wednesday after the $SLV trade, and I made a gain with a solid plan on $TSNP.  I know I can dig myself out of this hole.  I did it back in July, and I can do it again in February.  I will survive this!